A Worthwhile Change

CHOPPED! 💇🏼‍♀️ After almost 7 years of trimming my hair only 2x a year and letting it grow reallyyy long, it was time to try a fresh & fun look.

But besides it being the middle of winter and doing something spontaneous, there’s a longer story here—a secret of sorts that only a handful of people have known about: I’ve been intentionally growing my hair long for my future wedding day. I’ve had this dream for years, and up until a few months ago, thought I would keep it going until that day comes.

However, in the last few months, God has been at work. & I’ve come to realize that, although it’s a nice idea, I don’t have to do this. As a Christian, a follower of Jesus, I live in freedom—not freedom to live for myself or to let sin reign in my mind and heart, but I’m free to live a life that is holy and honorable and set apart because of my allegiance to Jesus. I’m also free to do fun things too, like plan vacations or move to a new city or cut my hair, as trivial as it may sound—there is freedom in these things, regardless of knowing the timeline of my life.

But it’s not just the chop in and of itself that I’m talking about; it’s something that cuts deeper. It’s a moment of surrender, to know that after all these years of waiting and hoping, knowing I’m still waiting and still hoping, I can surrender it all to the Lord. & even if my hair is short on my wedding day… it’s all for His glory anyways, not mine. And it’s going to be in His timing, not mine. And with that understanding, I can joyfully surrender my ideal timeline, my long hair, my expectations, my ______, and know that God is in control of it all.

It’s far too easy to be swayed by the current of culture, feeling that I’m ‘falling behind’ my peers as the years go by and everyone around me is drifting into different seasons of life—seasons of marriage and family that I long to experience. Yet, something as simple as a haircut can turn into a daily reminder of the joy of surrender and the goodness & faithfulness of God. He has been here the whole time; He has not forgotten me (or you.) He is present and near and kind. I can trust (& I’m learning to trust) His timing that is altogether perfect, no matter how my life compares to others. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about me or hypothetical timelines or the year that ______ finally happened. There’s a bigger story happening, and God invites us all to be a part of it.

God hasn’t promised me a husband, but He has promised me Himself, who is the ultimate treasure. God alone completely satisfies the weary soul. MY weary soul. I’ll be honest, there are days when that truth sounds more like a coffee mug phrase than something I wholeheartedly cling to. But, as my desire to know God and be changed by Him grows, so does the longing to be satisfied by the things of this world fades. All glory be to God.

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace”

Even in the waiting,
the things we can’t control,
all the question marks and wonderings and unknowns,
God is our true home, our steadfast rest, our forever peace that passes all understanding.

He knows what we need and we can trust Him—not to provide all that we desire, but to be changed from the inside out so that we may desire Him above everything else.